HeartFelt

I've been thinking a lot lately.. Actually, most of the time whenever i'm alone, i tend to think a lot & it leads me to nowhere. I'm not an optimistic person & I've plenty of negatives thoughts in me. I guess that's the reason why i feel emotional. Whenever i feel miserable, i'd try to think positively however it only lasted awhile. & then again, i feel emotional..

If you follow me on twitter, the time i feel emotional is when you see me spamming my tweets with a whole lot of emo thoughts.. I don't really like to share with people what i am really thinking unless i feel that i really need their words to keep me positive.

Sometimes i wonder, does everyone has thoughts like me? They say people may look happy on the outside but they are actually screaming on the inside. Does that happen to everyone? Why can't i see it. It feels as if i am the only one feeling this way. I wish i was a much more positive person. Then maybe things would be easier for me.

One of the days, i went out with C. & she told me the group of friends we usually hang out with felt that I've drifted way from them because i had a boyf. It took me some time to realize it. & yea, i guess we guys really drifted.. We don't hang out much often anymore except during breaks in school. I'm sorry i neglected you guys, because i myself didn't realize it. But i want you guys to know, every single one of you holds a place in my heart. Yup, every single one. There may be misunderstandings or small little tiffs, but you guys are still dear to me. Because you people were the ones who stand by me when i was at my lowest point. Please know that if anyone of you has difficulties with anything, I will be there for you, definitely. Sorry for being a bad friend ): but i'll try & i'm still learning.. I love you guys very very much, really i do.

I can't help but to feel disappointed with myself sometimes. I don't know to manage my time well & i don't know which are my priorities & which are not.. At the end of the day, it is just filled with disappointments because of the choices i made. I need to fix this.. but how will i ever do it right?